The ambiguous story of asparagus and lobster

The ambiguous story of asparagus and lobster

01

My name is Xiao Longxian. I am a shrimp. To be exact, I am a shrimp raised by the Tianjie Imperial Canteen. As soon as I woke up, I found myself in a big water basin, surrounded by shrimp, large and small, which made me out of breath.

Every day, a large number of the same kind are taken out to cook. At this time, they all flushed with excitement. I can't understand their thoughts at all. The shrimp next to me said proudly: "We shrimp, ah, born with fresh and delicious." It is a lucky thing to be eaten by immortals throughout his life. Even the dragon people respect us, love us, and understand our selfless dedication from generation to generation. So we were named lobster by the dragon people. "

I nodded knowingly, so when the cook came in to fish for shrimp, I tried my best to squeeze into the basin and offered him the opportunity of dedication.

I have always been the thinnest and smallest shrimp in the royal dining room, when a bunch of lobsters flocked to earthworms to make their own fat and more delicious. I was the only one who turned around and vomited, spitting bubbles alone.

But I still didn't escape being robbed as food.

It is said that the annual feast of flat peaches in Heaven began, and all kinds of immortals gathered together, and a lot of fresh ingredients were needed that day. So even though I was yellow and skinny and didn't have two jin of meat, I was sent to the kitchen.

I stood in the middle of the basin, my whole body upright, trying to open my small mungbean eyes and observe the situation around me. The cook in the imperial dining room is skillfully knocking out one lobster after another, and the processed lobsters are put into the oil pan in turn, fried red and fragrant. It made me have a good appetite.

But as an ambitious lobster, I don't want to die.

So when the cook picked me up from the basin, I struggled desperately. But the cook was unmoved and was about to knock me out like any other lobster. The strong desire to survive made me scream: "Ah!"

The cook obviously didn't want a lobster and was stunned with horror. I took the opportunity to clip him with my pliers, and as soon as his hand was loosened, I fell to the ground and ran out as fast as I could.

As a lobster that has been kept in the royal kitchen. Of course I don't know the way. So I turned left and right. I didn't know which yard I got into. I got lost.

What comes into view is a clump of green bamboo leaves, the environment is elegant, it seems that the owner is a stylish person. I was thinking about it when a piece of blue clothes floated in front of me.

At this time, let's talk about my position. since I was an uninvited guest, when I entered the yard, I walked quietly on tiptoe. After seeing people living in the distance, he hid behind a bamboo with two front feet on it, sticking out only half his head and looking around. I was trying to stretch my head, and I couldn't help being picked up.

"it's a crayfish." The voice was playful.

I looked up stiffly and was breaking into a pair of squinting peach blossom eyes. The man was about twenty years old, with ink hair pouring out and picturesque eyes, and now he was looking at me with a smile. The man, he must be the man, shouting inexplicably in his heart.

The only drawback is that he looks too huge. But it doesn't matter, it still doesn't stop me from watching the loneliness of male lobster these days. I blushed shamefully at him. Only when the lobster is cooked will it become red. I feel the heat rushing all over my body now, as if it were steamed.

The other party was surprised, reached out and poked me, and I was immediately poked down by him, pretending to be dead and lying flat in the palm of my hand. There was a burst of Qingyue laughter in my ear: "Crayfish, why are you so red?"

I can't always say that I was confused by beauty. I couldn't restrain myself for a moment, because I was shy and red.

"are you dead?" Seeing that I was motionless, the man said to himself. A cunning light flashed in his eyes: "now that he is dead, Ben Jun is kind-hearted, so he will bury you under the bamboo forest for a while."

There is no such thing as crossing the lobster. In order to prove that I am undercooked, I am just a little shy. I was a carp and raised my big clamp fan to dissipate the heat, although there was no wind at all. I said eagerly: "I am alive, you see." With that, he bounced twice in the same place.

As soon as he opened his mouth, the other party was stupefied for a moment, and there was a strange curve in the corner of his lips. In my confusion, he turned me over and over, as if looking at rare antiquities again, and then sighed, "now the quality of heaven is getting better and better." even a crayfish has become fine. "

In hindsight, I realized that I had been talking to people all the time.

02

This man is Wen Zhu Xianjun.

My culture is not high. I used to hear that Wenzhu Xianjun is the most educated person in Heaven. It is said that he was originally an asparagus in the courtyard of the former emperor, absorbed the essence of the sun and the moon, and finally became an immortal. Unlike some asparagus of unknown origin, he grew up next to the former emperor as soon as he was born, and reincarnation is a technical job. Moreover, it is said that he is knowledgeable, gentle and elegant, not only proficient in various musical instruments, but also good at astronomy and geography. In this regard, I used to express my admiration for falling to the ground.

But reality is disillusioned.

Now he holds me with his fingers. The shrimp has "seven inches". As long as someone touches the piece on my back, I am weak all over. His hand is holding there intentionally or unintentionally, so I dare not move.

"what's your name?" He asked me with interest.

"Xiao Longxian." "Seven inches" is in the hands of others, I answered truthfully.

"nonsense, of course I know you're a crayfish."

"my name is Xiao long Xie, Cao Su Xiao, exquisite exquisite, flawless white." After a painstaking explanation, Wen Zhu-hsien laughed. When he finished, he said, "it's really appropriate."

I sharpened my big pliers by myself. How to rely on others, can only describe their own miserable experience, embellished some.

Wen Zhu-hsien was so amused that she agreed, "in theory, you can already spit out human words. You are no longer an ordinary animal, and you should no longer be taken back to the imperial dining room."

I also nodded passionately to show that I had met my bosom friend. Then I saw the other side smile at me wickedly, the palms of my hands closed, and then I fell into a box, snapped, and the box was closed. Because the box is transparent, I can see the malice on the other side's face.

I was shocked. I only hated why I didn't kill him just now.

According to Wen Zhu-hsien, he saved my life, saved a life, and wanted to return the favor, so it's not too much for me to be his pet.

"not too much, not too much." In just one day, I was moved from a big basin to such a small "prison" and I burst into tears.

Wen Zhu Xianjun nodded with satisfaction.

Wen Zhu Xianjun was very confident in himself and probably felt that I did not have the ability to escape under his nose, and he soon released me from the box. His meaning is very clear, as his first pet, I should go to the Peach Congress with him. And he had to dress me up so that I couldn't embarrass him.

How can a shrimp dress up? no matter how you dress up, I am still a shrimp. Wen Zhu Xian happily made a box of rouge and smeared it on my body.

In the end, he was considerate enough to make a mirror. I was deeply shocked by the stupid look of a little white daisy pinned to my head and red all over it.

"the last time I went down to earth, I saw that the folk girls were dressed like this. Do you like crayfish?"

Like. You. Sister.

I was so sad that the hot tear in my eyes just fell off.

Wen Zhuxian exclaimed, "it seems that you really like it and cry excitedly."

Unfortunately, no matter how much I protested and waved pliers and tried to pick that chrysanthemum, I failed. The flower seems to have cast a magic spell and melted into my body.

I hate chrysanthemums most in my life.

03

The meeting of flat peaches is really bustling.

Wen Zhu Xianjun's seat is in the front. At the moment he was holding the food gracefully, chewing it slowly.

I haven't had enough to eat for a long time. Smelling the fragrance, I got out of his cuff and climbed all the way up the sleeve.

He held an elephant in his hand and carried a piece of fresh meat. That's where the fragrance floated in. I drooled and stared at the meat, and my mung bean eyes became cross-eyed.

Wen Zhu Xian hook lips: "do you want to eat?"

My chicken nodded like pecking rice.

He smiled and handed it to my mouth, and I hugged it and chewed it one mouthful after another. The food made me burst into tears. It was so delicious.

"it was Benjun who underestimated you. He didn't expect you to be so ferocious that you ate your own kind." The guy talked slowly when I finished eating.

I heard my voice trembling: "what kind of meat is this?"

"this is the specialty of the chef in the royal kitchen-minced lobster with garlic."

I was shaking all over with grief and indignation.

A chuckle came from the top of my head, and he put another piece of meat on my lips.

I didn't fall for it this time, so I turned around and pointed my ass at him and protested.

"this is chicken."

I ignored him.

He sighed and regretted: "the chef in the imperial dining room rarely makes a carved chicken. It is so hot on the outside that it melts at the entrance."

I swallowed the water and my psychological defense collapsed. He turned his head quietly, then grabbed the meat with lightning, and ate hard. The meat was torn into small pieces and was easy to swallow. The lobster was so small that I was full after a while.

After half the tour, the immortals were extremely high.

Wenzhu Xianjun, who has both ability and political integrity, was kindly invited to perform his talents. I lay bored on his sleeve and listened to him play the piano. To be fair, he plays the piano well, and the melodious sound is sometimes as gentle as running water, sometimes as swift as a waterfall, sometimes as clear as a pearl falling on a jade plate, and sometimes as low as a whisper. All the immortals were listening carefully, but suddenly there was a change.

The splashing monkey roared, "Why don't you invite my grandson at the Peach meeting?" Broke the tranquil atmosphere around.

Wen Zhu Xianjun's hand paused, but the melodious sound of the piano was not chaotic. I looked at him suspiciously, and he was unaffected and still played the piano on his own.

Can you imagine that scene?

There was great chaos around, and the monkey crossed the street like a bandit, throwing everything into it carrying sacks, tables and chairs fell to the ground, and melon peels and scraps of paper were flying in the air. And asparagus immortals, such as sitting in vanity, tranquil and senseless, still concentrate on playing the piano, as if everything around them is nothing.

In fact, he said luckily afterwards, "fortunately, Benjun is witty, otherwise it will be revealed."

Under the burning of my eyes, he scratched his head, took out what was hidden under the piano, a pocket wooden box, and hurriedly explained, "although Ben plays the piano, he still has the real thing. He just doesn't bother to deal with those idiots."

I went forward and poked with my tail, and the wooden box let out a wonderful sound, which was just the music played by Wen Zhu Xian.

It turns out that Taibai Venus in the fairy world has developed a kind of high-tech called radio chicken, which was originally used to play music and pass the boring time. But Wen Zhuxian used it in "evil ways". Every time he gathered in the fairy world to perform talent, he set the radio chicken to play only one song, and then pretended to be performing himself. As the time set in advance could not be changed, the song could not be stopped halfway, so he had to install it from the beginning to the back.

This unfaithful world.

Wen Zhu Xianjun's gentleness and elegance is fake, and erudition is false. He is nothing but that face.

04

I saw Wen Zhu Xian, he is still so good-looking, the dark night wind blew his hair away, he stood by the lake, his clothes fluttering.

It is strange that his body is no longer so huge. I looked down and found that I had human legs.

My heart became very quiet, and an impulse that I had never seen before came to my mind.

I really want to...

I really want to give him a dragon eighteen hands and push this guy into the lake.

I slowly moved my body and was very close to him, showing a sinister smile to myself. He took the second position of falling dragon's eighteen palms-flying dragon in the sky. Unexpectedly, he suddenly turned to look at me, his eyes sparse, and he seemed to say something to me. Seeing my strange posture, he frowned with entanglement. I couldn't hold it any longer. I did a few boating moves and fell into the lake.

The tragedy took only a little over 0 seconds. After I fell into the lake, I heard a heartbreaking cry: "Lobster, you are responsible for me."

Don't put the cart before the horse. I'm the one who fell into the lake.

When I opened my eyes, I found it was a nightmare. I'm still a crayfish.

With the cool breeze, I yawned and crawled out of the cuff. Wen Zhu Xian is talking to a fairy.

"this is the most precious treasure of our family, the purple green pearl, which is now given to Xianjun." The fairy had a soft voice and held a glowing bead in her hand.

Wen Zhu Xian is rarely serious, and the usual hanging son Lang should be different, take it without hesitation, whisper: "Thank you for the fairy."

I snorted contemptuously.

Hearing my slight disdain, the fairy gave a "Gee" and looked at me with her hands wrapped around her chest on the cuffs and proudly leaning up her neck. It was only then that I saw her appearance, wrapped in lavender clothes, covered with gauze of the same color, and her low-hanging sideburns obliquely inlaid with purple pearls, dusty temperament and the appearance of heaven and man.

"I heard that Xianjun had a pet a few days ago, so this lobster is so cute." She said softly.

Her words meant no harm, but her eyes fell on the chrysanthemum on my head. I immediately felt humiliated and wriggled with open teeth and claws. Wen Zhu Xianjun nodded my head soothingly. I was furious and grabbed his fingers.

The fairy covered her lips and smiled, "she is lovely and clever." After a pause, she pinched her fingers and frowned: "there is something in your house. I will leave you first."

Wen Zhu Xian said faintly, "good-bye, Zixia fairy."

Dressed in purple, she is a Zixia fairy. Even a love token is purple!

He put his face close to me and said, "is the crayfish awake?"

I could not help being sprayed on my face by his breath and panicked: "Wow, what a big face."

He looked at me eerily for a long time, and my appearance was clearly reflected in his two eyes. He sighed faintly: "Crayfish, your honor really makes me lose face."

I'm going to clip his fingers again. He changed his tone with temptation: "do you want to be in human form?"

He's not that kind, and I'm not that gullible. But the condition of metamorphosis still makes me urgently say: "Yes!"

Sure enough, I watched this guy tie the purple bead around my neck, and the weight pressed me down so that I couldn't breathe.

"you bastard, big liar!"

He poked at me: "how can a girl dress up without one or two pieces of jewelry to please herself?"

Although in terms of gender, I should be regarded as a female shrimp. But my hard shell, well-developed breastplate and proud ruddy skin don't look like a girl.

05

After that day, Zixia Fairy became a regular visitor to Wenzhu Xianfu. Since I hung a big bead, it was inconvenient for me to walk with heavy weight. Trapped in a corner all day, listless. I don't know if it's my delusion, but the beads are getting dimmer and darker recently.

Wen Zhu Xian made fun of me like this, so that I had a gentle and quiet manner.

These days Zixia fairy and I know each other very well, when she came to me, I was like a pregnant woman pregnant for 10 months, lying on the chair, looking at the moon and sighing. She looked at me complicately and asked the same thing as Wen Zhuxian: "Lobster, do you want to take shape?"

I think, why don't I want to? I dream about it every day.

I looked at her sadly, everything went without saying, and I was sad for my shrimp.

"as a matter of fact, Wen Zhu Xian is not what you think." Beauty is beauty, even the voice is so beautiful.

But the words were wrong, I bitterly advised: "Beauty, you must not be deceived, Wen Zhu Xian is actually a sanctimonious, full of bad water scumbag."

Zixia fairy did not know where to take out a jar of plum blossom wine, asked me to drink, I reflexively took a few steps back. I was surprised by the reaction to the wine afterwards. Maybe I didn't want to be a drunken shrimp.

Wine was really not a good thing. Zixia seemed to be drunk that day and told me a lot. She looked at the moon in the distance and said she really envied me. She also said that Wenzhu Xianjun had always been detached and indifferent, and had never seen him care so much. I mean, it's all an illusion.

I was a little smoked behind me, and I asked her what she had seen above. She said that she was probably impressed by the indifferent elegant demeanor of Wenzhu Xianjun at the flat peach meeting.

I...

06

The next day, my first reaction was that my body was not so heavy and the purple pearl was gone. The second reaction is that the Wenzhu fairy face is not so big.

I wrapped my body in a quilt and rushed inside. Wen Zhu Xian was narcissistic. There was a big mirror in his room, which reflected a 16-or 17-year-old girl. I blink, so does she. I bared my teeth, and she grinned. So that's me. I made it out of shape.

I swung my leg and punched twice with delight. I just think the turning serf sings.

After the transformation, I am more interested in food than in asparagus, which has made me fat. I don't care much about his whereabouts.

So that Wen Zhu Xian and Zixia were trapped in the enemy, and when the news of uncertain life or death came, the pig's hoof in my hand fell to the ground and had no idea.

As I ran to Huaguo Mountain, I broke my love. I said Wen Zhu Xian, you useless wood, you learn what fights other people fight, you are a Wen Xian, and even Wen is opportunistic and deceiving. You like Zixia Fairy so much that she even took the initiative to catch the monkey. You are embroidered pillows with a bag of grass. How can you beat him?

Huaguo Mountain is a mess, full of corpses of heavenly generals, blood mixed with the smell of soil, disgusting.

I searched one by one, this is not him, that is not him, the corner of my eye glimpsed a piece of blue clothes. I turned him over.

For a while, it was like a lifetime ago.

I still remember the first time I saw him, he was gorgeous in a blue shirt. The man has always been clean and must be furious to know that he has been soiled. I desperately wiped the blood on his face, more and more, more and more flowers. The tears fell like beads with a broken thread.

"you see, you finally failed. I warned you not to be mistaken by beauty, but you didn't believe me."

I cried so much that Zixia was well dressed, followed by a monkey with an impatient face. No, she is now a great saint of heaven. I don't care why she's here. Staring at her defensively.

In my mind, however, I have imagined a shocking conspiracy, such as the Zixia fairy colluding with the demon monkey, and Wen Zhu Xian has become cannon fodder. Now lying miserably, no one cares.

Zixia was a little embarrassed and asked dryly, "what are you doing here?"

I looked up and said, "I already know your plot."

Zixia covered her face and said, "he's not dead, he's just."

I look serious.

He fainted because of the cold weather recently. "

I sneered: "can immortals get sick?"

She was surprised: "you really don't know?"

"asparagus likes a warm, humid and semi-overcast ventilated environment. It is not resistant to cold and drought in winter, cannot pour too much water, its roots will rot, and direct sunlight is avoided in summer. It is suitable to keep the room temperature between 12-18 ℃, ventilation and heat dissipation when it is more than 20 ℃, the suitable temperature for growth is 15-25 ℃, and the overwintering temperature is 5 ℃. Born in the mountains and cultivated in the garden. "

Tips on asparagus

01

Asparagus likes a warm and humid environment. It is not resistant to drought. It can be watered more in summer and watered once in the morning and in the evening.

Don't put it in direct sunlight in summer.

02

Usually need some flower fertilizer, fertilizer must be mature fertilizer, if the soil is not breathable and too solid, you can change some soil. After fertilizing, turn over the soil, not too deep, the surface of the soil buried fertilizer on it.

03

It is necessary to properly control the water in winter and water it thoroughly at one time. Don't water a little today and water a little tomorrow. It's easy to rot the roots or the leaves. It is also critical to keep the windows ventilated.

04

Try not to get fat in winter, because it is not its growing period, but it is important to keep its vitality and water as little as possible.