Kid lost three times before he learned it.

One issue that all parents absolutely dare not relax is the personal safety of their children. Parents are worried that they should guard against human traffickers, carts on the road, and strangers who look dangerous. They also have to worry about whether their children will take the initiative to do dangerous things while others are off guard. But when on earth should we worry about the end? When can parents finally rest assured that their children have more autonomy in their actions?

Dong Xiaokai, the nanny who has a lot of experience on this issue, shares his experience of raising his son's rice in his new book "giving the Child to the Father," including how to deal with the three times his son has been lost. Parents might as well refer to it.

Parents' confusion:

There is a question that has been bothering me: when can children cross the road by themselves? When can children go to school and go to school on their own? Although children will soon learn all the survival skills of adults, I really don't have a schedule for these two questions. Before middle school, children will be accompanied as long as they go out, and most parents will stay with their children, but sometimes their children will get lost, especially in crowded public places, this danger occurs from time to time. Can you really avoid getting lost by keeping your child close to him? How long can we hold on like this? How can children walk freely and be safe? Parents want their children to grow up, but at the same time they dare not let go. Maybe this is the trouble of growing up.

So far, rice has been lost three times, although we think we are inseparable from him. It seems that it is very easy for a child to get lost. What should parents do in the face of such a risk?

Get lost for the first time

The first time rice got lost was on the edge of the West Lake in Hangzhou, when rice was three and a half years old. At night, the bank of the West Lake is crowded, and the light fountain in the water attracts many tourists. The three of us are walking along the West Lake, and the rice has been bouncing in our line of sight. After passing through several crowded areas, we suddenly found that the rice was missing! Now my mother and I panicked and our legs were weak. We shouted the name of rice, but our voices were soon drowned out in the noisy crowd. Rice always walked in front of us, so we guessed that he walked too fast and ran in front of us, or he may have lagged behind us.

My mother and I split up, one chasing forward, the other looking back, shouting the name of rice while walking, and looking at both sides at the same time. Fortunately, walking out of a distance of five or six meters, I saw rice right in front of us. Rice, unaware of his parents' anxious search, was trotting step by step, looking around happily. When we saw the rice, we were relieved. Since he didn't know we were looking for him, he would be wrong.

So, my mother and I looked at him with our eyes, but our body was hidden in the crowd. After a while, rice seemed to say something to us, but I didn't see my father and mother when I looked back. At first, rice did not speak, has been searching everywhere with his eyes, looking for a while, but still did not see us, maybe rice felt a little scared, shouted "Dad" and "Mom" loudly, we still did not show up. Rice seems to have lost the sound of shouting, but she didn't cry, so she was probably too scared to cry.

At this time we must appear, otherwise the child will feel fear and even leave a psychological shadow. The moment we appeared, rice ran into my mother's arms and burst into tears. After this lesson, we agreed with rice that we should be in the sight of our parents at all times, especially in noisy public places with large numbers of people.

Get lost for the second time

Does the child remember an appointment? Not exactly. The second "loss" of rice occurred in Singapore, and the reason for putting "lost" in quotation marks is that it was a deliberate loss.

In the Fountain Square in central Singapore, a science and technology exhibition is being held. Although there are not as many people on the shore of the West Lake, it is easy for a child to get lost. Rice saw a very interesting little house with some high-tech applications related to optoelectronics. Rice didn't tell us to go in and play, maybe it was too attractive, so he got into it before he knew it. We watched outside for a while and felt that this was a good educational opportunity. So, my mother and I went a little further to make sure that when rice came out, we would not see us, but to make sure that he must be in our line of sight.

When the rice came out, there was another frantic search, and when we were on the verge of collapse, we appeared again in a timely rain. After this lesson, we made an agreement with rice: before doing anything, especially before going somewhere, be sure to tell your parents where you are going and make sure they know where you are and where you are.

Get lost for the third time

With two lost experiences, two lessons and agreements, will the child still be lost?

I will. The third loss of rice occurred under the Eiffel Tower in Paris. There is a double-layer Trojan horse playground under the tower. Rice was four years old at that time, and the Trojan horse was his favorite. After buying the ticket, the rice went in to play the Trojan horse, and my mother and I sat on the bench under the tree waiting for him.

The music played, the Trojan horse began to spin, and rice kept grinning in her pony. The music slowly decreased, the Trojan horse spun more and more slowly, and when it was about to stop, rice was still sitting on his own little Trojan horse. The Trojan horse has stopped, and the children get off the Trojan horse one after another to find their parents. However, at this moment, after a turn on the revolving stage, I did not see rice on the small wooden horse of rice!

I was surprised. Where's the rice? After turning around the Trojan horse, I still didn't see the rice.

If I look around again, I still don't see any rice.

A cold sweat came out from the back, and the not-so-cold Paris winter brought me a biting chill!

I ran around the Trojan horse... After running around again, I still didn't see the rice!

I want to shout, but I can't make a sound; I want to run, but I feel like I can't move!

I feel so weak in my legs. If I run another lap without seeing the rice, I think I will definitely sit on the ground and be unable to move.

"Rice, come down first!"

"Mom, I want to sit in another circle."

It turned out that after stopping in this rotation, Rice ran to the second floor and found a car to sit down, ready to enjoy the second round of the merry-go-round. Rice poked its head out when she heard her mother's cry.

This experience did not scare rice, but it scared my mother and me. With this experience, we and rice agreed: the next time we play Trojans or do other things, we must determine and agree on the time and times to play, and make clear the place where we will meet after the game is over, and make sure that we will not see each other at the place where we meet.

An agreement with rice

After these several incidents of loss of rice, we have made a lot of agreements with rice, and the contents of these agreements have been firmly imprinted in the mind of rice. From then on, in the crowded public places, we did not lead the rice, but the rice took us by the hand, and he followed us step by step.

Now, rice has a stronger sense of safety than we do. In public places where there are not many people, although rice will not hold our hand tightly, it will also guarantee to move within our line of sight. If rice wants to go to the bathroom, be sure to let us know first, and will emphasize that we should wait for him outside, do not go away. Because we have formed the habit of telling us where we are going, even at home, rice will tell us when we have to pee.

Once, rice said to her mother in a hurry, "Mom, I have to pee." Mother looked at the rice, hesitated and said, "No!" Rice froze at that time. Then my family roared with laughter.

Agreements can not only make travel safer, but also enable children to build safety awareness and be psychologically prepared to deal with unexpected situations such as loss of life, car accidents and tsunamis in the crowd. Disciplinary agreement is a matter that should be paid special attention to when traveling. Agreement is also a good habit. After the agreement, we should continue to use the agreement and solidify it. Any agreement will become more effective only if it is tested by practice.

A good habit can only become a habit if you stick to it for at least two weeks. Therefore, good habits must be done by parents and their children, and parents' persistence is more important than children's persistence.

Of course, it may be hard to change a bad habit for a week. Therefore, parents should timely stop their children's bad habits, of course, including their own bad habits, the sooner they say goodbye, the better!

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